Tender mercies continued

So, guess what I realized today? Forgetting my English 315 book at the devotional yesterday was a tender mercy! Because if I hadn't lost the book, I wouldn't have asked Courtney in my tap dance class (who was also in my English 315 class) if I could borrow her book. I ended up giving her a ride home from tap class yesterday so I could borrow her book for the night and return it to her in class the next day. I went into the apartment with Courtney to get the book. It turned out that she shared the book with her roommate, who was taking the same class at 10-12 with a different teacher. Courtney's roommate and I got to talking about her section of the class, which made me want to switch into her section (the section I'm in now). And I did! And now I am taking a wonderful class at 10 am in a room with natural lighting with a kind professor. If I hadn't lost my book, I wouldn't have gone over to Courtney's, and her roommate wouldn't have given me the idea to switch sections. I would've just stayed in the section I was registered for and life would not be as grand as it is now! Plus, the next morning I got my book back from the Lost and Found Office! It must've been destiny. (That one's for you, Chad. :) )

Other random thought from the day: I had no idea it was so expensive to dry clean a dress! Maybe the place I took my dress to was just super expensive, but they charged me over 10 bucks for it! Ouch! I could've bought a whole new shirt with that money. *Sigh.

Tender mercies

Glorious news!! First of all, I want to thank you all for your prayers, because a charitable soul did turn in my English 315 book!! I am so grateful for them, I hope they are blessed for their charity. Second of all, I changed my English 315 class to a different time, place, and teacher, all three of which are improvements! I am so grateful. The time is 10-12 instead of 2-4 (hooray for getting class over early in the day!!). The place is on the upper floor of the HFAC with windows looking out into a healthy green tree and blue skies rather than in the basement of the JFSB with fluorescent-lighting (hooray for natural lighting!). The teacher is a young, down-to-earth, pragmatic graduate student rather than an old, acrimonious, cocky professor. And she even brought up the cultural aspects of writing quite a few times in her lecture today, which just made me so happy. The time, place, and personality of the teacher of this new class are all tender mercies.

Today has just been such a better day than yesterday. I woke up with more energy, and I just feel more excited about this new term and more motivated to study for my classes. I felt happy with my improvement in dance this morning. And then my English 315 book was in the Lost and Found office! And you already have heard about how much I love my new English 315 class. And then on the way home I ran into one of my old London friends, Brandon, and we had a good half-hour chat in the sun. It was so good to talk with him again, I hadn't had a good conversation with him since London. And then Kari called me, who is getting married this Friday in the Mt. Timpanogos temple and I get to go to her reception!! I am so, so happy for that girl. Has this been a good day or what?

Jess, in your blog you mentioned the small things that make life wonderful. Here is a list of mine:
Clorox bleach
Comfortable couches
Visits with old friends
Sisters
Embracing uncertainty
Hope
Laughter
Cell phone messages
Children
Afghans
Summertime
Charitable souls who bring books they find in the DeJong Concert Hall to the Lost and Found Office
Long drives with people you adore
Okay, so I guess most of those things aren't so small, but they sure do make life wonderful!!

A new term is dawning

1 in 14 adults experience tiredness as a side-effect of the Hepatitis A vaccine, and I think I'm one of them. The informational sheet they gave me doesn't mention any side-effects of having an extra strong appetite or experiencing moments of forgetfulness, but I wish it did, because then I'd have something to blame those on, too. Somewhere between the devotional and my D & C class today I abandoned my English 315 book. If it weren't for that moment of brain loss, I would be working on homework for that class right now. But alas, the book is nowhere to be found. Please pray that some charitable soul found it and took it to the Lost and Found office--I had a nice visit to them today and they said it wouldn't have gotten to them so soon, so to check back tomorrow morning. That book cost beaucoup bucks, so I'm really hoping and praying that it will be there tomorrow morning.

I'm having withdrawals from last term. I just loved what I was studying so, so much, and I'm sad that those classes are over. I miss talking about culture. Yesterday as I was walking back to my English 315 class during the break, I passed a flyer advertising an anthropology class on Asian religions--Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism, Taoism, Feng-Shui. I almost started hyperventilating for desire to take it. But then I remembered how earlier that day I had mapped out what classes I still need to take before graduation, and I really don’t have time to take it. That is if I want to graduate next August. Which I really should. Too bad I can’t stay in college for the rest of my life learning about awesome things and getting minors in anthropology and gerontology and social work and geography and dance.

Speaking of dance, you know how I had mentioned earlier how last term was fun because I felt like I was a good dancer in my country dance class? Well, those days are definitely over. I’m in silver standard now and it’s so dang hard. We’ve only had two days of class, and Brent (our teacher) has taught us nearly the whole Waltz routine. Notice how I didn’t say “we’ve learned the whole Waltz routine.” Because I certainly haven’t. Two days is an incredibly short amount of time to learn a routine with seven new figures interwoven into figures I learned in bronze. I’ve always been a slow learner at dance, and I’m feeling just a tad bit overwhelmed. I keep reminding myself that I’m going to retake it in the winter, so not to fret.

Brent has really been pushing us to compete in a dance competition in Las Vegas this August, and today a guy in the class asked me if I wanted to compete with him. He’s not very good, but I’m not very good either, and at least he’s taller than me. We could work together to get better, and then maybe after the competition I could make my long-awaited visit to the Grand Canyon. The competition is the night of Thursday August 17, the day after my last final, and then I could go to the Grand Canyon for the next couple of days. Hmmm. Now the question is if I can find anyone to go with me.

So, English 315 is going to be a long two hours every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If anyone has any ideas for making long classes go by faster, pray tell!! But the good news is that I really liked my D & C teacher today. His name is Alexander Baugh and he’s the type of religion teacher I like—knowledgeable, enthusiastic, fast-paced, and uplifting. His teaching style is a tender mercy.

And finally, an entry on my musings would really not be complete without a mention of Chad. Because let’s see, what made me think of him today… a guy in my dance class is from Ecuador and was wearing a bracelet that said Ecuador on it, my religion teacher’s son-in-law played football for Snow college, I ate a pear (his favorite fruit) for lunch, Guin and Amy asked me about him, the girl next to me in my religion class drew a picture of herself hiking a mountain in the “interests” section of the get-to-know-you sheet Brother Baugh had us fill out (and that’s what he’s doing today—well, technically, they are hiking a volcano), etc. You catch my drift. It's a good preview for what September through December will be like.

P.S. The devotional by Gerald Williams was amazing today. It was on conflict resolution. I’m going to listen to it again sometime while I’m getting ready for the day. I would recommend that everyone do the same—he offers some very insightful, well-thought-out ideas. Go here for a free mp3 recording of it:
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=browse&speaker=Williams%2C+Gerald+R.&topic=&type=&year=&x=4&y=10

My excuse

Hello!! For all those of you who have been anxiously awaiting for me to add a new entry to my blog--and especially to those I have promised an update--I have one excuse: a certain boy named Chad. I just got back from a wonderful weekend at his mom's side of the family's reunion at his dad's side of the family's cabin. (Hopefully that made sense.) He has such a wonderful family. We went for a little four-wheeling trip to a lake, we went on a little walk in a grove of trees to find the tree he engraved his initials on, we ate really good food, we played softball and tennis (my tennis was pretty bad though, sorry to say), we went to a friend's wedding reception, and we went to the Manti Pageant. It's late and I need to be leaving for church in about seven hours, so I better get to bed. But I just wanted to let you all know that life is good and that on Monday Chad is leaving to go to Ecuador for a week and a half, and so to expect more blog entries during that time. Until then, Happy June to you all!

My Latest

Updates in my life:

I’m in 2 Nefi now in my Cartea lui Mormon.

I’m getting to know the kindest man on the face of the planet; I like him a lot, and I’m hoping he likes me, too.

I’m in the process of researching for and writing two lit reviews—one on reactive attachment disorder in Romanian orphans and one on alexithymia in people with body image/eating issues. I have to remind myself every so often that I love writing research papers, or else I forget.

My mom got in town last night and will be here for the next few days. Howe family reunion in Fairview tomorrow!

I’ve discovered the joy of the mp3 recordings of the most recent general conference talks on the internet.

I’m loving country social dance! It’s great fun, because since it’s a beginning class, I feel like I’m a really good dancer. Haha.

I’ve been making very good use of my family’s cell phone plan lately; between my mom and brother and me, we have 57 day minutes left for next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I’m thinking it wasn’t my mom or brother that used up all our minutes.

I believe in the power that one person has to make a difference, and I believe that Jesus Christ has the power to save every person from their sorrows, pains, disappointments, inadequacies, sins, and heartaches.

Yesterday I just found out the super exciting news that the Jerusalem Center is opening back up for BYU students, starting this fall!!! If I weren’t going to Romania, you better believe I’d be signing myself up!

I’m still loving G-2 pens, flip-flops, ice cream, and going running.

Despite the fact that I have more to do than can ever be done, I still find myself reading These Is My Words and writing in my journal. I think that’s probably a good sign.

I am so grateful for my friends, because I have the best in the world.

In a nutshell, my life is grand.

Ode to Enchanted Light

The light under the trees,
the light from high heaven.
The green
arbor
light
that flashes
in the leaf
and falls like fresh
white sand.

A grasshopper lifts
its sawing sound
over the clearness.

The world
is a full glass
of water.

-Pablo Neruda

Women of Virtue

Today in Sunday School we talked about women of virtue, specifically Ruth and Hannah. We talked about how powerful of a force women have in the world. The world so desperately needs women of virtue.

Last week I watched a documentary on street children who live in a metro station in Bucharest. All these children grew up without the guidance of mothers, and most of them had also been beaten by whoever their caretakers were. That's why they ran away from their institutions and/or homes. They are all extraordinarily messed up. I'm sure that if I was as deprived of care as they were, I would be just as messed up as they are.

Upon being asked whether he liked to live in the metro station, one of the children, Mihai, age 12, said something to the extent of, "This life is not good. No one is here to teach me. I need someone to teach me." Another child, Macarena, age 16, who was probably the most addicted to paint out of all of them, said to one of the social workers questioningly, "I must have parents, too, right? I have a mommy and a daddy, too? But I just don't know them?" as though it was an idea that had just dawned on her, but she doubted whether it was true.

The results of growing up without a mother's love (or the knowledge of a mother's love, for those whose mothers have died) are tragic. I don't fully comprehend or appreciate the unending rippling positive effects that continue in my life because I was raised by loving parents. It's amazing to me that virtuous women, especially virtuous mothers, are so downplayed, and even degraded, by our society. Because without them, our world would be full of dysfunctional people.

One day last semester during a research meeting in which Heather Stay and I started feeling overwhelmed by the social problems we were studying, we asked Renata, "What can we do?" And her reply was, "Raise good kids." This is the conclusion of a woman who has studied social problems all her life. Truly, the world relies on virtuous women for its social health.

So today I just want to send a shout-out to all those amazing women who read this. For raising children in love, for being virtuous women. You are the source of so much happiness in my life, and you are the source of all the good things in the future!!

Weaknesses

Ether 12:27:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I've needed this verse in my life for the last couple days. It's important for me to remember that it doesn't say: "I give unto men weakness that they may be discouraged, depressed, and feel inadequate." Because that's missing the point. The point is that we recognize how dependent we are on God, and then turn to Him in faith, believing that He can compensate for our weaknesses. Not only that, but if we turn to Him in humility, He can help us overcome our weaknesses and make them strong points. It's truly a wonder to me.

A Quiet Heart

Too many times in my life I have told God what I need, when I need it. It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think my prayers have gotten rather bossy at times. Recently, I have been learning a lot about how I need to just shut up sometimes and listen. I am not God; He is. I should be asking Him what I need, not telling Him what I need. I should be expressing my desire to fulfill His will, not a desire to have all my problems taken away.

I've also realized that I need to be more mindful as I pray. How do my prayers reflect my attitudes toward and relationship with Heavenly Father? Am I a spoiled child who forgets to say "thank you"? Am I a bratty child who goes to her Father, catalogues all her needs and wants, and then walks away? Or do I remember to thank Him for all that He has given me (including the greatest gift of all--the saving and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ)? Do I remember to ask what He thinks would be best for me? Do I seek His counsel, or am I fixated on what I want and how I can get it from Him?

I feel like I am receiving this message over and over again as I read the talks from last general conference. Here are some of the quotes that reflect this message:

A quote by President Faust in Elder Stucki's talk "Prayer, Faith, and Family: Stepping-Stones to Eternal Happiness":
"A fervent, sincere prayer is a two-way communication which will do much to bring [Christ's] Spirit flowing like healing water to help with the trials, hardships, aches, and pains we all face."

From Elder Eyring's talk "As a Child":
"Somewhat to my surprise, I found myself praying, 'Heavenly Father, it doesn't matter what I want. I don't care anymore what I want. I only want that Thy will be done. That is all that I want. Please tell me what to do.' In that moment I felt as quiet inside as I had ever felt. And the message came, and I was sure who it was from."

Prayer is a TWO-WAY communication. If I sincerely want to receive answers to my prayers, I need to quiet down my heart and listen to what the Spirit is telling me to do or what the answer to my question is. If I sincerely want to make the right choice, I must be willing to submit my will to God's. That is the only way to make the right choice.

From Elder Uchtdorf's talk "See the End from the Beginning":
"You have a responsibility to learn what Heavenly Father wants you to do and then to do your best to follow His will."

From Elder Holland's talk "Broken Things to Mend":
"It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases [in which Christ] is saying to us, 'Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,' He says, 'we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness.' He promises, 'I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.'"

I have a responsibility, a duty, a requirement to give up what I want, to listen to what God's will is for me, and then to do it. And once I do that, I will be led out of darkness and into His marvelous light. And He will make far more out of my life than I ever could.