Transitions

I like change. I think there is value in having things mixed up every once and a while. During the course of my college career, I've been able to experience a lot of changes, because I have moved so often (including two moves to international places). It's been nice, but I have realized that while I do like the final outcome of change, I have a hard time with the transition part of change. Here’s a poem I wrote about how I sometimes feel during transitions.

Scrambled
My life is a bucket.
Turned upside down.
And emptied of all its contents.

My plans.
My purpose.
My feelings.

My thoughts.
My motivations.
My fears.

My past.
My present.
My future.

I am trying hard to gather them up.
To piece them all back together.
But all the pieces don’t fit.

They are Scrambled.
Jumbled.
Discombobulated.

I am Scrambling.
Jumbling.
Discombobulating.

I hope I’ll wake up soon.
As Mary Poppins’ carpet bag.
And everything will magically fit!

Expect resistance

"The great learner expects resistance and overcomes it." -Elder Eyring, 1997 BYU Devotional Address

I think this is great advice. For school, work, health, relationships, righteous living, etc. We are going to have resistance, but we can overcome it! And I think it'll probably be easier if we expect it. That way when it comes, we won't waste energy freaking out over it. We can instead put all our energy into overcoming it.

Loaded Questions!

I am following Jessi and Audra's lead in answering these questions from my favorite game, Loaded Questions.

Favorite kind of cereal: For healthy value: grape nuts and Great Grains. For yummy value: Lucky Charms.
What animal or insect disgusts you the most? I really don't like large hairy spiders.
What do you need more of right now? Time to read text books and write papers.
What is the hardest thing for you to do? I have a hard time motivating myself to do push ups or ab exercises after running.
Deoderant brand: Secret
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Between 15 minutes to 1.5 hours.
What is your most prized object? I don't have one, but I do cherish my laptop, afghan, London scrapbook, and pearl necklace.
What are you thankful you're not doing now? Starving.
If you talked in your sleep, what would you say? I do talk in my sleep, and I say random, meaningless things. Actually, there's one exception to that--one time my roommate told me I bore my testimony really fast in my sleep.
What is your favorite drink? Sparkling grape juice
Favorite way to eat potatoes? Garlic mashed potatoes.
If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be? I don't want to be anyone but me, but I do like Elinor Dashwood, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, and Anne Elliot.
Favorite ice cream toppings: If I could pick one, it would be Tina and Tony's home-made caramel from the London Centre. But in just any regular context: Magic Shell and toffee bits.
Where do you want to spend the rest of your life? Lots and lots of places.
What do you bring most to a friendship? Kindness.
On a scale of 1-10, how hip are you? 6. Can anyone imagine me hip-hop dancing? Haha.
What kind of music makes you want to get up and sing? Musicals, country music, and oldies.
What are you an expert in? Playing with Romanian orphans.
What have you tried and simply were not good at? Snow-skiing.
Favorite movie line? "My heart is, and always will be...yours."
What is your "theme song"? Martina McBride's "Blessed"
What is your most annoying habit? To me--eating too much. To others--I think I talk pretty loud when I talk on the phone.
If fat, calories, etc. weren't an issue, what food would you feast on? The better question is, what food would I NOT feast on?
How much can you bench press? Not very much, but I don't really know because it's been years since I've been weight-lifting.
What fictional character would you like to meet? Sarah Agnes Prine.
What is the ultimate vacation? Somewhere I've never been before with people I love who are well-traveled and have my same values in traveling.
What is the best thing about your job? The flexibility and power I have over how I use my time.
What is the worst thing about your job? Not enough people interaction--too much reading, studying, writing papers by myself.
What is the last movie that made your eyes tear up? I can't remember. I might have teared up in "Wives and Daughters," but I can't remember.
What super-power would you like? The ability to be in a different location at the snap of my fingers--traveling and dating someone an hour away would be so much easier that way!
Would you rather be smart, rich, or beautiful? Smart.
What advice would you give to the President? Be grateful, smart, clean, true, humble, and prayerful.
What character attribute do you admire most? I have two: humility and compassion.
Where do you usually buy your clothes? Gap.
What is the nicest thing you have ever bought somebody? Audra's "Les Mis" tickets.
How would you spend $1000? I'd put it in my savings account and end up using it on a lot of little things.
What do you want to change about your life? How in shape and strong I am.
Who is your best friend? Chad.
What would you like to accomplish this year? Get in shape, graduate, get a job.
What book has had the greatest impact on your life? The Book of Mormon.
What do you do everyday? Pray, eat, talk, read.
What food do you refuse to eat? Shrimp--not because I don't like it, but because it doesn't like me. :)
What one word would you use to describe your current relationship? Blissful.
What is the best purchase you have made? My laptop.
What one word describes your life? Happily busy.

Humility and Humor

I love this picture. She looks Romanian. And really happy. One of my goals for this year is to enjoy the work and hard things in my life. I want to make the most of what I've got, and not get too stressed about anything. I want to have a sense of humor about myself and the things I'm going through. I want to laugh a lot! And I've decided that in order to do this, I gotta be humble. In order to have a sense of HUMor about myself, I gotta be HUMble! :)

I've been reading a lot of my journal entries from Romania in the last couple days, and I have just gotten a kick out of a lot of them! It's so fun to look back and laugh at myself, and laugh at how I still have a lot of the quirks found in those journal entries. Life is grand when you can laugh at yourself!

"E bine!"

Chad and I have recently had a few conversations about the pervasive attitude in our nation that we deserve whatever we want. It's normal for us to feel like we are entitled to so many things that most people in the history of the world have never had. And because of this, it's easy to fall into the trap of ungratefulness.

I haven't thought much about this until recently, and when Chad has brought it up, it has made a lot of sense to me. In Romania, the many times the phone, internet, heater, and washing machine didn't work, it was no big deal. Because we were in Romania--that's what we expected!

But since being home, I have found myself feeling so bothered when things haven't worked. There were some problems in our apartment complex this week, and so we weren't supposed to use our washing machine for a couple days, and one night our hot water had to be turned off for a little bit. Not a big deal, and yet I felt so inconvenienced! And then one day this week, in the middle of printing off a huge document for school, the printer I was using in the BYU library got jammed and messed up the order of a few pages in the middle of the document. My immediate reaction was to feel super irritated, but I had to tell myself that it was going to be okay and to just calm down.

This is disturbing to me! I think if these things had happened in Romania, my response would have been to let it go and say, "E bine!" I said, "E bine!" all the time in Romania. "E bine" means "It's cool/It's fine/It's good/No problem/Etc." in Romanian. I miss saying it, and I think I want to start saying "It's good" as often here as I said "E bine" while I was in Romania. I was so easy-going with malfunctioning things in Romania, and I want to have that same attitude here. I was so good at being inconvenienced in Romania, and I want to continue to strengthen and develop this attribute in America.

I don't want to be an ungrateful American. I want to always be grateful for my washing machine, hot water heater, and BYU printers, rather than feeling so irritated when they are temporarily malfunctioning. For the rest of my life, I want to battle the temptation to feel entitled to or deserving of whatever I want.

My Sisters

I have the best sisters in the world. I am so grateful that I was able to spend Christmas break with them. I had such a good time with them! They are such good examples to me of righteous women, daughters of God, wives, mothers, and neighbors. I hope I can grow to be more like them every day. I admire them so much!

I admire how Jessi:

Responds, "Absolutely!" when her kids or her kids' friends ask her for something they can have.

Decorates her home in the way that makes her (and me!) feel good and happy.

Is so self-sacrificing and willing to spend tons of time on service and gifts that are meaningful and special for her friends and family.

Gets not only herself ready and pretty every day, but also her four girls.

Can do amazing amounts of laundry.

Responds to her girls' moments of stubborness, sadness, embarrassment, and tantrums with patience and compassion.

Sits alone with her four girls all through Sacrament meeting every Sunday.

Can talk me through an emotional breakdown, helping me arrive at reason without making me feel stupid or guilty. :)

I admire how Audra:

Listens to her kids in a way that makes them feel comfortable to tell her anything.

Is so good at record-keeping, scrap-booking, photography, and the visual arts in general.

Can shop and accessorize as though it was nothing! :)

Praises her kids in a way that builds their self-confidence, without reinforcing the idea that their worth comes from their accomplishments.

Has a high-degree of self-awareness and self-understanding.

Teaches her boys why things are right and wrong, and doesn't withdraw love when they choose the wrong.

Encourages (and endures) her boys' extraordinary levels of energy and enthusiasm for life.

Can talk me through an emotional breakdown, helping me arrive at reason without making me feel stupid or guilty. :)

P.S. And aren't they both so beautiful?!!

I want to be smart

I have so much writing to do for my classes, I feel like I don't have time to write in my blog. But I think I'll try to post real short entries with quick thoughts for fun.
And today, I want to share something my mom told me today: No effort is wasted. Isn't that great?! No effort is wasted! Even if the effort doesn't result in any tangible or visible outcomes.
Also, I wanted to say that it's hard for me to be at school and not get sucked up in the attitude that being smart is the most important thing in the world. Yesterday I came home from my classes wanting to be smart so bad. Yesterday as I was thinking about that, I thought to myself, "I want to be smart...and social, and skinny, and spiritual, and successful..." Sometimes it's hard to not become overwhelmed here at BYU! Or remember what's most important. I need to remember that it's nice to be smart, but it's smarter to be nice. :) (Okay, so that's not how the MormonAd goes, but oh well...)
Also, it feels wonderful to be reunited with the BYU library. Oh how I love it!


Also, today I decided I need to be more humble. A lot more humble. I'll work on it.

My Amazing Boyfriend

Last August I posted an entry about how we can all do hard things if we believe in ourselves. My boyfriend Chad is an incredible example of this to me. I am consistently amazed by his ability to face challenges, cope with opposition, and do hard things! Right now he is in his second year of residency in pediatrics, and the demands placed on him at work are enormous. Not only is his work taxing physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. But I never hear him complain. He enjoys his work, and makes the most of the unpleasant aspects of the career he has chosen

You'd think his work would wear him out enough, but he also finds time to take on additional challenging activities outside of work. Last August during a particularly demanding rotation, he spent the one and only day he had off hiking Mt. Timpanogos with me. This picture is actually of us at the top of the mountain. The 16 mile hike left me sore for days after, but he was hardly phased by it. And why is that? Because he was well prepared by the triathlon he had completed less than a month prior.

Not only that, but he also finds time to travel, learn foreign languages, and save the world. :) Last September he completed a rotation in Guatemala, while undergoing a rigorous 4 week Spanish course. He also spent a week in Ecuador during a week he had off last June, and is currently planning a trip to Mexico with his family this March.

Speaking of Chad's family, he also makes sure to spend as much time with them as he can. I have been able to attend many family gatherings with him, and there have been even more I have not been able to attend with him. I know he is greatly loved as a son, grandson, nephew, brother, and uncle. Last weekend when I was able to see his family again for the first time in over four months, the first thing his three year old nephew said to me was, "Where's Uncle Chad?" Everyone loves him, because he is kind, humble, compassionate, witty, helpful, respectful, tolerant, and forgiving.

Now, you may just think I'm biased because I'm in love, but I really do think that anyone who knows Chad would agree with me that he is one remarkable person. And you know what's really remarkable? On top of everything, he still finds the time and energy to spend time with me, do the things I want to do (like hike Mt. Timpanogos!!), do nice things for me, talk to me on the phone, make the hour drive to visit me, and give me the emotional support I need. Wow, huh!!! Am I one lucky girl or what?!