On Wants and Needs

If you want something, ask for it! It’s your responsibility—not anyone else’s—to make sure your wants and needs are being met. It’s best to not victimize yourself when your wants or needs aren’t being met, but rather do what you can to get them met. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, become bitter or angry, or pout when you want someone to meet a need and they aren’t meeting it. They probably don’t even know you have that need, let alone that it is unmet or that you want them to meet it! So ask! And then do what you can to help them meet it. It works better that way.

Lesson #2--Golden Rule with a twist

What others want and need is not necessarily what I want or need. Treating others how I would want to be treated in a certain situation is not always the best. Rather, it would be better for me to be perceptive and sensitive to how they would want to be treated in that situation, and treat them accordingly.

A Time of Learning

Before I came here to Romania, I received a blessing from Adam, and one of the things that stood out to me in the blessing was that this will be a time of learning. That is definitely right! I am learning so much here! I’ve written down five of the things I am learning that have to do with interpersonal relationships, and I am going to try to add one a day for the next five days in my blog. Here’s today’s:

When you are focused on and mindful of the service you are giving to other people, it’s easy to get into the mindset that you deserve something from the people you’re serving. Whether that be a display of appreciation, expression of love, or reciprocation of some kind of service from them. But it’s best to try to not get into that mindset, but rather maintain an attitude that you don’t deserve anything for the good things you do. I’ve found a way to do this is to consider your service as serving God rather than whoever your service is aimed to benefit. Because a) when you serve others, you’re serving God!, and b) none of us deserve anything from God! We will forever be in debt to Him.
For example, when you do your roommates’ dishes, rather than thinking, “I’m such a good person, I’m doing their dishes. I hope they notice and are grateful for all this work I’m doing for them,” it’s better to think, “I’m so excited I get to serve God, because He is so eternally good and merciful to me, and I’m grateful I get to show my appreciation for everything He gives me.” This is hard to do, but I think it’s worth trying.

Beautiful, beautiful Budapest!!

One of the funnest things we did was visit Margaret's Island, an island in the Danube River that divides Budapest (what used to be two separate cities--Buda and Pest). There we rented these bike things and rode around the island. It was so incredibly beautiful with all the bright yellow leaves and the dark tree trunks. But none of my pictures really captured the beauty of it, sorry!














This is the view from the bridge that led us to Margaret Island. The left side is the Pest side of the city, and the right side is the Buda side of the city. We kept running into missionaries everywhere we went in Budapest (10 total over about four days), and the bridge I was standing on in this picture was one of those places. A couple minutes after we ran into the missionaries, a young man named Janos (Yanosh) joined those missionaries. While the rest of the girls in my group talked to the missionaries, I got to talk to Janos. We talked for probably around a half hour. Janos just recently turned nineteen and was baptized last August. He also recently baptized his little sister, and his little brother is taking the discussions! He was really fun to talk to. It was so cool to stand on this bridge, talking to this really great native Hungarian and recent convert, and look out to this view!















A close up of the Buda side of the city.















Parliament, on the Pest side of the city.















Jenna, Jessica, Bri, Abbi, Megan.















In this picture I am standing on the hill that leads up to Buda Castle. Sorry, I didn't take a picture of Buda Castle. It was the building the National Gallery was in. Can I just say that I love going to art museums?!















Shannon loving Budapest. We all loved Budapest so much. (This is a cool picture, huh!)















Me and Marina missing our boyfriends.




















A pretty church on Castle Hill on the Buda side. (It's the church you can see sticking up in the horizon in the third picture of this blog.)





















Part of Fisherman's Bastion, a cool-looking structure on Castle Hill that made me think of Minas Tirith (like a lot of old, castle-like things do :) ).

Also, I didn't take a picture of the State Opera House where Shannon and I went to a performance of Verdi's Requiem. The inside of the building was one of the most beautiful buildings I've been in, with its gold walls and red curtains and carpet. And the concert was one of the most breath-taking and moving and inspiring musical productions I have ever heard. It was honestly amazing. The height of operatic and choral music. I feel so blessed to have been able to experience it. Really, I feel so blessed to experience all that I did in Budapest. I would definitely like to visit it again!

Two Ward Pictures

From a Ward Picnic on September 30















My Sunday School Class!
Elder Child (sadly, he was transferred last week :( ), Stefana, me, Radu, and Andrea
Stefana is investigating the church, and Radu and Andrea are siblings.

Monastery Trip (about a month ago)

All ten of us girls! Bri, Abbi, Holly, Melissa, Megan, Jessica, Marina, Shannon, Jenna, and Sheri














Marina, Shannon, me, Jessica, and Megan

Last Sunday's Excursion

Me and my friends

Ionut and me (sorry about the bad lighting)
















Holly, Bri, and me















Me, Raluca, Stefana, Jenna, and Marina in the Vila

More Random Pictures

My apartment's living room, with six of the ten girls, before one of our Sunday meetings.




















The Vila (the missionaries popped into this picture by surprise--how perfect!). The Church is on the second floor, and the other floors are used for other things.




















The Spital

Pictures of Iasi

The Scala apartment (where the other girls in the program live)















Some blocs close to the Scala apartment
















Some apartment blocs














The Palat (Cultural Palace)

Pictures! Finally!

My apartment (Podul de Fier).

Close-up of my apartment.

My kitchen with Holly and Bri.

The other side of my kitchen with Marina.

My Angels

Iulia
















Ionut (and Holly)

More Romanian Lessons

My time in Romania is teaching me how to better:
Swallow my pride.
Be inconvenienced.
Appreciate amazing appliances such as microwaves, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and toasters.
Understand what my strengths and weaknesses are.
Make do with what I have.
Wait.
Look for the good in others.
Overlook others' weaknesses and differences.
Control my thoughts.
Interact with people with disabilities.
See things in the context of God's eternal plan for His children.
Be creative in cooking meals.
Resist discouragement and feed hope.
Focus on the beauty and not the ugliness in life.
Know when in a foreign country to say "I don't understand" and when to pretend like you do.
Rely on the Savior--I can't do hard things on my own.

Making the Most

I realize I’ve been a pretty lousy blogger for the last three months. I seem to only update my blog every couple weeks or so. Here are the thoughts I’ve had in the last couple weeks:

I don’t think going abroad is the only time people should really try to “make the most” of their experiences. People can live up whatever life circumstance they are in, whether that be being a mom raising three high-maintenance boys in a tiny apartment in ghetto Houston (props to Audra!!), being a mom of four girls in the Georgian countryside (holla for Jessi!), teaching the scriptures to twenty teenagers every morning at 6:00 am (yay for Mom!), or working thirty hour shifts every four days in a hospital that isn’t infested with cockroaches and does have AC (I miss you Chad!). Life has so much to offer, if we just take Audra’s advice and pay attention to what it does have to offer. I have a testimony that Heavenly Father can help us see the beauty in our lives, wherever we are and whoever we are with.

After being in Romania for a couple weeks now, I can tell that Romania has a lot to teach me. I’ll keep a log of them in this blog, both the comical and serious ones.

Lesson #1: I wouldn’t call the Romanian mentality a perfectionist one. Sometimes the washing machine stops working, sometimes the water gets turned off, sometimes the internet goes down, but do Romanians fret over it? Nope. Because, everyone knows that “sometimes it does that.”

Lesson #2: Romanians know how to take risks. If there are driving rules here, no one seems to abide by them or enforce them. So each day on the road is an adventurous one.

Lesson #3: Gypsies really do exist, and they really do wear bright-colored dresses and their hair in long braids. And Romanians don’t like them. But I’ve enjoyed talking (if my molasses-slow understanding and speaking of Romanian could be called talking) to the gypsie moms at the hospital. They have the cutest kids!!

Lesson #4: It is amazing and exciting to see how surprised and pleased people’s faces become when I smile at them! I just love it. One of the highs of this semester thus far has been those moments when I say “Buna ziua” (pronounced Buna Ziwa) and smile at people, and I can tell I brightened their day. And to those other souls I don’t know how to reach, I can pray for them. I’m so grateful for prayer, because it has brought so much peace to my heart, during those moments when I feel powerless to help someone, to know that I can at least pray for them. I’ve been trying to remember to pray for the people I pass when I walk to and from the hospital/store/etc. And of course the beautiful babies in the hospital—those fighters who teach me so, so much about patience and enduring to the end and long-suffering. They help me see the beauty in my life. Please pray for them!

Lesson #5: You have to give up your fears of making a fool of yourself if you want to make your dreams come true. I’m still working on this one—I’ll let you know what more Romania teaches me concerning this!

Lesson #6: If I want to be happy, I should try to love and serve everyone like I love and serve the babies in the hospital.

"I Can Do Hard Things"

I love this statement! My sister Jessi taught her daughter McKenna to say this while McKenna was going through a stage of often getting frustrated by not being able to do new tasks correctly right away. This is something that I think we all could benefit from saying to ourselves periodically.

Last month Chad and I hiked Mt. Timpanogos. During about the third hour of the hike, we talked about how people can often do way more than they allow themselves to do, because they set limits on themselves and don't believe in themselves. If they would just believe in their ability to do hard things and go forward with the commitment to do them, they would surprise themselves by their ability. I think that is so true--we really can do hard things!

Tomorrow I am going to Romania. I am so excited--I have been waiting for this for months. And yet, I am still a little bit scared, especially concerning my lack of fluency in Romanian. I will have to remind myself that I can do hard things. I will have to remind myself to believe in my ability to excel in Romania. Fear won't get me anywhere, but faith will.

There is something my uncle Joe said a few years ago to his scared and crying son that has really stuck with me. He said, "This is a good time to be tough." I love that! I think that is such a good life attitude! Sometimes you just have to be tough and believe in your ability to successfully ride through a time of uncertainty and risk.

Another statement I think is a good life attitude is something my amazing roommate Teri said when talking about an unpleasant situation she was in. In conclusion to her story, she said in regards to what she was going to do about it: "So what do you do? You get over it!" I think that's fabulous advice on how to accomplish hard things. Some things are just out of our control, and we have to get over them! We shouldn't dwell on what we can't change, but rather we should dwell on our blessings and get to work on the things that we can change for the better.

I hope I can live this advice while in Romania. I hope I can remember to believe in myself. I can do hard things. This is a good time to be tough, and I can be. I can get over the things I can't change, as I work my tail off to do everything I can to improve the quality of the lives of the people I come in contact with in Romania. Romania, here I come!

Grammer Answer

Jessi and Audra, that's the same reaction I had when my English 315 teacher put those words on the board! Except for I gave up way before 15 minutes--Jessi, I am impressed with your perseverance! The answer is someone asking whether Sam or Sally was right in their use of the word "had" in a paper/grammar lesson:

Where Sam had had "had," Sally had had "had had;" had "had had" had the teacher's approval?

Crazy, huh?!

Grammar challenge

Believe it or not, these words can create a correct sentence if punctuated correctly. See if you can figure it out:

Where Sam had had had Sally had had had had had had had had the teachers approval

Dance!

"If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving" (D & C 136:28).

"Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings...Select something like music, dance, sculpture, or poetry. Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops latent talent, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life." (Richard G. Scott, “Finding Joy in Life,” Ensign, May 1996, 24)

“The great principle of happiness consists in having a body” (Joseph Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pg. 181).

“It is expedient that all things be done unto [God’s] glory” (D & C 78:8).

As you all know, I love ballroom dance. I think there is something very satisfying about trying to use the body Heavenly Father gave me to create beauiful movement. And I think ballroom dance is so beautiful. I really do believe that dance can be a way of glorifying God, of praising Him.

I also love how ballroom dance requires two people, a man and a woman, to work together. There are so many parallels to ballroom dance and relationships. These parallels often come up in my classes as the teachers try to illustrate dance principles or techniques. Here are just a few, some of which have come up in class, and some of which I have come up with:

1. While you should always maintain connection with your partner at certain connection points, you also need to stay out of your partner's space in some areas. If you start leaning into that space, the balance is thrown off and you don't look good.
2. In dance, the man is a gentleman and the woman is a lady.
3. The gentleman should lead, but that does not mean that he should push or pull the lady around. In fact, if he did, the result would be terribly ugly. The lady can, and must, move on her own in order for the partnership to be smooth and beautiful. The man leads by subtle movements, and the lady should be attentive to those movements.
4. You have to communicate with your partner. Your partner often doesn't realize that what he is doing is making it harder for you to do what you need to do, so you have to tell him. But you also have to tell him in a tactful, courteous way that is not accusatory, but explanatory. If you tell him in an accusatory way, he will be even less inclined to change to help you out.
5. Sometimes you just need to get out of your partner's way.
6. If you try to dance on your own, it doesn't work. You have to listen to what your partner is telling you through his movements, and adapt to those movements as much as you can.
7. You have to loosen up, to relax. If you are too tense or uptight, it's not going to be a pretty picture.
8. Ballroom dance takes a lot of practice and patience. You are not going to achieve a sense of smooth synergy with your partner right away. This is especially true when you are learning a new, more difficult routine together. But the more practice you have with a partner, the easier it is to maintain synergy with him even in the face of the challenge of learning difficult figures.

Ballroom dance has brought so much joy to my life in the last two years. Just as Elder Scott said it would, it has brought into my life gratitude, friendship, renewal, and enthusiasm. These results haven't always been immediate--sometimes I have gotten extremely frustrated and discouraged. Sometimes I have lost the vision of why I dance, and have gotten bogged down in the stress of not feeling good enough, not getting high enough scores, and not performing to the level that I wish I could. But during those times, I have had to remind myself why I dance. It's not to be better than the other girls in my class or to win first place in any competition.

I dance because it's fun and challenging. It's rewarding to learn how to do something I couldn't do before. It's exciting to see something beautiful, and then improve in my ability to create that beauty myself. It's refreshing to step away from my studies and just dance to beautiful music, to just enjoy using the body Heavenly Father gave me. I think that if everyone in the world took an hour a day to dance to inspiring music, the world would be a much better place!

P.S. I got this picture from http://dancesportinfo.net/DisplayGallery.aspx?eventId=4132. It is of Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova, the #1 standard couple in the US. I got to see them last March at DanceSport, and they were amazing.

"I Wanna Talk About ME" (You know, the country song...)

I got this list of questions from Jessi's blog:

My four favorite movies are:
1. Sense and Sensibility
2. Anne of Green Gables
3. Lord of the Rings trilogy
4. Searching for Bobby Fisher

The four places I want to be right now:
1. Any island in the Pacific
2. Guatemala
3. India
4. Spain

Four things I accomplished today:
1. Gave a presentation on alexithymia and eating disorders
2. Made a handout for said presentation
3. Talked to three of my four nieces, one of which (Lydia) in a British accent for about 5 minutes! (She's five years old and she can carry on a conversation in a British accent for 5 minutes! Wow, huh!)
4. Studied for my D & C test tomorrow (what I should be doing right now!)

My four favorite things to do in my "spare time":
1. Spend time with Chad
2. Go running or play tennis
3. Read
4. Go to arts or sports events

Four things I think I'm good at:
1. Liking other people
2. Being meticulous with school work
3. Having a good sense of direction while driving
4. Remembering people's names

Four things I'd like to change:
1. Romania's economic and political condition
2. U.S.'s moral condition
3. U.S. doctors' residency hours
4. How fast I can read (I want to be able to read faster)

How I'd spend a MILLION dollars:
1. Pay for Romania and the rest of my school
2. Give some to my parents as payback for the help they have given me
3. Humanitarian aid
4. Investments

Things I'm going to do tomorrow:
1. Go to the temple at 6 am with my lovely friend Jocelyn
2. Dance the foxtrot!
3. Study for and take a D & C quiz and test
4. Volunteer at the Special Needs Institute

P.S. To see a hilarious picture, go to my friend Amy's blog and see her entry from July 27. It might only be funny if you know her, but it's hilarious to me. Here's the link: http://parselysagerosemaryandthyme.blogspot.com/

On Receiving

In the LDS Church, there is usually an emphasis on giving and serving. Which I think is absolutely wonderful, given that I need to be constantly reminded to resist selfish thought patterns, attitudes, and behavior. However, I have misapplied this counsel at times in my life. I have misconstrued it to mean that asking for help is a sign of weakness--that I am only a good person if I continually serve without ever asking to be served. This idea that good LDS people only give and never receive is so off the mark!!

Recently in my scripture study I have been impressed by how the act of receiving is a gospel principle. This idea was mentioned by my IAS teacher last term, and yesterday I looked into it more in my scripture study. I looked up the word "receive" in the Index, and I found that there is almost a column and a half of references for the concept! That is quite a lot. Listen to how many phrases there are in the scriptures and our gospel vocabulary that include the word "receive":

Receive the priesthood
Receive a priesthood blessing
Receive God's counsel
Receive personal revelation
Receive promptings of the Holy Ghost
Receive forgiveness for one's sins
Receive one's endowment
Receive other gospel ordinances
Receive the gift of the Holy Ghost
Receive the sacrament
Receive God's word
Receive Christ's love into your heart
Receive light
Receive God's image in your countenance
Receive salvation
Receive God's servants
Receive the Lord
Receive the Father
Receive the Father's kingdom
Receive all that the Father hath

That is a lot of phrases using just one word! And there are probably more that I missed. Clearly, the Lord wants us to receive all the good gifts He has to offer us. He wants us to accept help from Him. He has even told us, "For unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have." (2 Nephi 28:30). Receiving is an integral part of the gospel, because we can't make it on our own. We cannot gain salvation on our own. We need the Lord's help. We need His saving grace! We need the saving power of the atonement.

A directive from God to man that is found all over the scriptures is "Ask, and ye shall receive." It seems to me that most of us in the Church accept this readily and don't have any qualms in listing off to Heavenly Father in our prayers all the things we want and need. So why then, if we are so comfortable with asking God for help, do so many of us struggle in asking each other for help?

I believe that just as we need God's saving grace, we also need each other. We have been told that we can not be saved or made perfect without our dead (see D & C 128:15 & 18), and I believe that likewise we can not be saved or made perfect without each other. We should ask each other for help. Really, in order for there to be service in Zion, there has to be people who need to be served!

As I reflect on the people I've known in my life, those who stand out as my best friends are those who I went to and said, "Hey, I'm having a hard time, can you lend me a hand?" It was those people I felt the greatest bond with. And I believe it was in those moments in which my friends and I shared mutual insecurities, pain, fears, and struggles that those bonds were formed. Of course there were other times of shared joy and triumph that strengthened our relationship as well, but without the times of shared struggle, I don't think we would have drawn as close to one another. My closest friendships are the products of the applied principle of asking and receiving.

I have a long way to go when it comes to this principle! I need to work on being more humble so it's easier for me to ask for help. I also need to work on internalizing the belief that receiving is not the opposite of service, but rather it is complementary to it. I'm sure it pleases Heavenly Father when His children engage in reciprocal relationships in which there is both giving and receiving. In this way we help each other return to Him.