What are my reasons?

For the last week or so, I have been thinking a lot about motivations. Last term I had an automatic motivation to study for my classes--to prepare for Romania. I want so badly to be well prepared for my experiences in Romania, and so the motivation to work hard came naturally. I loved class and I loved studying. What I did each day had meaning and purpose.

But as the new term started last week, I found myself dreading class and everything that went along with it. I had to stop and ask myself, "Why am I going to school? Why am I taking these classes? Why do I want to get good grades?" These questions really helped me analyze my life--what I was doing with it and what I wanted from it. Honestly answering these questions helped me see where I was going wrong, and how I could make my life more meaningful. I realized I could do this with a change of motivation.

As I thought about this question--"What are my reasons for doing what I'm doing?"--one of my favorite movie quotes came to mind. It's from "A Beautiful Mind," when John Nash is giving his nobel prize acceptance speech. He says, "I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am...you are all my reasons." I've heard that he didn't actually say this, which is kind of disappointing, but regardless, I think it's so poignant and right-on. Nash was talking about his wife in the quote, but I want to take it out of context and think of it in broader terms. That love is really the only good reasoning behind anything.

In my IAS class last term, one of the program facilitators made the comment that he wonders how love could function in our economic, social, and political systems. He wonders how these systems would be different if love was the motivating force behind them. I think that's a very interesting thought.

And then yesterday as I was reading my scriptures, I read 2 Nephi 25:26 which says: "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." When I read this, the statement came to my mind, "Christ was all their reasons." And truly, that's what I think it comes down to--Christ is the whole reason we have anything and everything we have, including life, and He should be the whole reason we do everything we do with our lives.

Joseph Smith taught that the most divine attribute was love, and John 4:8 says God is love. And so really, that's what Nash was saying, without realizing it--that the only good and logical reasoning behind anything is God.

And then in studying my Doctrine and Covenants student manual, I came across a quote that reiterates this principle. In talking about the different reasons people choose to be obedient, Elder Robert L. Simpson said, "The best reason of all is illustrated by the person who feels the desire to do right because he wants to add glory to his Father in heaven" ("Cast Your Burden upon the Lord," New Era, Jan. 1977, p. 4). And really, this stems in love--when we love God, we want to glorify Him. When we selflessly serve others, we demonstrate our love for God and we add to His glory.

I think happiness lies in living with this motivation. If our actions are motivated by love for the Savior and desire to glorify Him, we will find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. That is why my life was so happy last term--what I did day in and day out was motivated by love. Love for the orphans I will work with, for the people in Romania I will serve and be served by. And by so doing, I was in a small way glorifying God.

This task of having our actions be motivated by the right reasons is a tricky one, because we have to continually battle what Satan tells us our reasons should be. And Satan's reasons are all essentially selfish. It's so much easier to be selfish than charitable. But at the same time, there's no meaning, purpose, or fulfillment in a life of selfishenss. So really, it's worth battling these selfish motivations and working to cultivate motivations of love. I imagine I'll be fighting this battle for the rest of my life.