Ionut

Yesterday we found out Ionut passed away. He passed away on Tuesday night, just one week after Iulia did. I loved this kid so much. He is my angel. I know I was there to comfort him, but I'm sure he comforted me more than I did him. I can't say how many times he was a source of spiritual strength and inspiration to me. I will miss him so much, but I will never forget him. He has changed my heart.

Nearly two months ago we had a false alarm and thought Ionut had died. I broke down, because I was not ready to let him go. I felt like I still needed him. Holly played this song as she tried to sort out her feelings, and I just sobbed as I listened to it. I will always think of him whenever I hear this song now. I love you, Ionut.















Tears in Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Choosing rather than reacting

It’s best not to react to others’ behavior, but to choose for yourself how you will treat others, regardless of how they treat you. Even if others aren’t a friend to me, I can choose to be a friend to them. Even if others aren’t kind to me, I can choose to be kind to them. Even if others irritate me, I can choose to treat them with respect and concern and love. I can choose how I will feel and act—my feelings and behavior don’t have to be dependent on others’ feelings and behavior.

Emotional Orphans

At the orphanage, we get beat up a lot. For various reasons, we get stepped on, smacked, head-butted, punched, poked with sharp objects, kicked, and scratched. Our hair gets pulled daily. Being peed on or wiped with snot or spit is not a startling occurrence. But it usually doesn’t bother me, because they really don’t know better. I mean, come on, they’re orphans! No one is there to teach them any better. And often, it is just an accident, and they don’t mean to hurt me.
Well, it occurred to me that that’s the best way to respond when others hurt you. Because we are all emotional orphans in some aspects. No parent is perfect—no parent can teach their children everything. So when others hurt you, it’s best to just give them the benefit of the doubt that no one was there to teach them any better, that they really didn’t mean to hurt you, or that they just couldn’t help themselves. It’s best to just choose to be the bigger person and not get offended. Like Nephi did, it’s best to just “frankly forgive them” (1 Nephi 7:21).

On Wants and Needs

If you want something, ask for it! It’s your responsibility—not anyone else’s—to make sure your wants and needs are being met. It’s best to not victimize yourself when your wants or needs aren’t being met, but rather do what you can to get them met. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, become bitter or angry, or pout when you want someone to meet a need and they aren’t meeting it. They probably don’t even know you have that need, let alone that it is unmet or that you want them to meet it! So ask! And then do what you can to help them meet it. It works better that way.

Lesson #2--Golden Rule with a twist

What others want and need is not necessarily what I want or need. Treating others how I would want to be treated in a certain situation is not always the best. Rather, it would be better for me to be perceptive and sensitive to how they would want to be treated in that situation, and treat them accordingly.

A Time of Learning

Before I came here to Romania, I received a blessing from Adam, and one of the things that stood out to me in the blessing was that this will be a time of learning. That is definitely right! I am learning so much here! I’ve written down five of the things I am learning that have to do with interpersonal relationships, and I am going to try to add one a day for the next five days in my blog. Here’s today’s:

When you are focused on and mindful of the service you are giving to other people, it’s easy to get into the mindset that you deserve something from the people you’re serving. Whether that be a display of appreciation, expression of love, or reciprocation of some kind of service from them. But it’s best to try to not get into that mindset, but rather maintain an attitude that you don’t deserve anything for the good things you do. I’ve found a way to do this is to consider your service as serving God rather than whoever your service is aimed to benefit. Because a) when you serve others, you’re serving God!, and b) none of us deserve anything from God! We will forever be in debt to Him.
For example, when you do your roommates’ dishes, rather than thinking, “I’m such a good person, I’m doing their dishes. I hope they notice and are grateful for all this work I’m doing for them,” it’s better to think, “I’m so excited I get to serve God, because He is so eternally good and merciful to me, and I’m grateful I get to show my appreciation for everything He gives me.” This is hard to do, but I think it’s worth trying.

Beautiful, beautiful Budapest!!

One of the funnest things we did was visit Margaret's Island, an island in the Danube River that divides Budapest (what used to be two separate cities--Buda and Pest). There we rented these bike things and rode around the island. It was so incredibly beautiful with all the bright yellow leaves and the dark tree trunks. But none of my pictures really captured the beauty of it, sorry!














This is the view from the bridge that led us to Margaret Island. The left side is the Pest side of the city, and the right side is the Buda side of the city. We kept running into missionaries everywhere we went in Budapest (10 total over about four days), and the bridge I was standing on in this picture was one of those places. A couple minutes after we ran into the missionaries, a young man named Janos (Yanosh) joined those missionaries. While the rest of the girls in my group talked to the missionaries, I got to talk to Janos. We talked for probably around a half hour. Janos just recently turned nineteen and was baptized last August. He also recently baptized his little sister, and his little brother is taking the discussions! He was really fun to talk to. It was so cool to stand on this bridge, talking to this really great native Hungarian and recent convert, and look out to this view!















A close up of the Buda side of the city.















Parliament, on the Pest side of the city.















Jenna, Jessica, Bri, Abbi, Megan.















In this picture I am standing on the hill that leads up to Buda Castle. Sorry, I didn't take a picture of Buda Castle. It was the building the National Gallery was in. Can I just say that I love going to art museums?!















Shannon loving Budapest. We all loved Budapest so much. (This is a cool picture, huh!)















Me and Marina missing our boyfriends.




















A pretty church on Castle Hill on the Buda side. (It's the church you can see sticking up in the horizon in the third picture of this blog.)





















Part of Fisherman's Bastion, a cool-looking structure on Castle Hill that made me think of Minas Tirith (like a lot of old, castle-like things do :) ).

Also, I didn't take a picture of the State Opera House where Shannon and I went to a performance of Verdi's Requiem. The inside of the building was one of the most beautiful buildings I've been in, with its gold walls and red curtains and carpet. And the concert was one of the most breath-taking and moving and inspiring musical productions I have ever heard. It was honestly amazing. The height of operatic and choral music. I feel so blessed to have been able to experience it. Really, I feel so blessed to experience all that I did in Budapest. I would definitely like to visit it again!

Two Ward Pictures

From a Ward Picnic on September 30















My Sunday School Class!
Elder Child (sadly, he was transferred last week :( ), Stefana, me, Radu, and Andrea
Stefana is investigating the church, and Radu and Andrea are siblings.