Decisions, decisions

On a Friday in mid November, I went to a Relief Society activity at the Vila. At one point in the activity, we sat in a circle and each sister said a few things about themselves. I thought it was a simple enough request, and I didn’t think much about what I was going to say before my turn came. Instead, I just listened to what every one else had to say, and figured I could come up with a few interesting things to say about myself on the spot.

But when my turn came, my mind was blank of unique things to say. Only three things came to my mind—I loved working with the kids at the orphanage and the hospital, Chad C*, and the Book of Mormon. And none of them seemed quite appropriate for the setting to share. And so after sputtering awkwardly for a couple moments, I said that I liked to read, bake, and spend time with my family—three things that a lot of the other women had said they liked to do. While it’s true that I do love these things, I didn’t feel like they captured who I was at the moment. I hadn’t done a whole lot of reading, baking, or spending time with my family for a long time.

As I walked home that night, I thought more about things I could have said when it was my turn to share. As I thought more about it, I remembered that I liked to play tennis, and ballroom dance, and go hiking. It was almost as if I had momentarily forgotten these things about myself!My life was so simple in Romania.

Now I’m back home, and I realize I have to start thinking about myself more often. For instance, my wardrobe is getting a little old and worn out, and so my sisters and I went to the mall yesterday to revamp it. And I was forced to think about what my tastes are in clothes and accessories. As I tried on one article of clothing after another, the idea of just throwing on a pair of scrubs and taking a walk to the hospital sounded quite appealing. In Romania, I didn’t have to worry about all these complicated issues of whether these pants fit me right, or whether I like this shirt with that sweater, or if these pants match that blouse. I just wore scrubs every day!

But wearing scrubs all day every day for the rest of my life isn’t really an option, and neither is revolving my life solely around a few orphans, a long-distance boyfriend, and the Book of Mormon. I’m going to have to start thinking more about what I like, what I want, and how I want to spend my time and resources. Decisions, decisions!!

But here are a few things that I don't have to decide, because I already know them about myself:
I am a sucker for Cinderella stories. The movies Rudy, Seabiscuit, and Cinderella Man make me want to shout for joy.
I am a morning person. I feel better all day when I go to bed early and wake up early.
I sing with gusto whenever I sing in a church setting, because I love the concept of praising God through song. However, I am not too confident in my ability to sing solos for the pleasure of others’ ears.
I don’t know much about the principles of art, music, dance, movie-making, or theater, but I am absolutely delighted by them. I love imaginative stories, passionate music, and vibrant pictures in movies. I am moved by beautiful dancing. I love how walking through art museums uplifts my soul and widens my perspective of my own life. I love how going to the Symphony clears the palate of my mind.
I can eat a lot. In Romania, whenever we would visit someone and they would feed us tons of food, I would always still be going strong when others were reaching their limit of fullness. I also am able to enjoy a lot of foods others find unpleasant.
I love the Testing Center at BYU. I think it’s exciting to think about all the knowledge that is gone over and demonstrated in that building. In fact, I like the whole college atmosphere of learning and discovery and accomplishment.
I am naturally afraid of heights, but I’m trying to overcome that fear. I’ve never been afraid of flying in an airplane, though.
I love the smell of coffee and the taste of grapes, and I think if I weren't LDS I would love drinking coffee and wine. This is what the grapes looked like that I would always get from the piata in Romania--yumm!! I already miss them. They were so delicious.